It is the physiological process of perceiving sound. Listening, in contrast, is active and intentional. Genuine listening requires attention, empathy, and a willingness to remain present, even in the midst of discomfort.
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I guess I am feeling overwhelmed by just how much of my experience has been informed by trauma. I just watched a video on Instagram from a trauma therapist to “good kids”, kids that no parent had to worry about. She was going to list off a few things that these kids needed to know but probably never heard. One of them was that they are not a burden. Another was that they are not hard to love.
Share this post with someone who needs to be heard. But it keeps https://wellfound.com/company/wingtalks the relationship alive long enough for growth to happen. Growth that often starts not with an answer, but with understanding.
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Save the fixing, if that’s what you enjoy doing, for the house and the cars and the yard. In a world that rushes to respond, be someone who listens. You never know whose life you might change. ✔ Remind them they aren’t alone.Connection is often the first step to hope. Let silence be a comfort, not something to be filled.
Usually that backfires on the parent and the child becomes more resistant. The husband was a capital-M master at solutions and getting life handled. Yet for years his wife felt like a stranger in his presence. She didn’t know what it was like to be listened to.
- He doesn’t lecture—he lives his values out loud.
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- But I would have never have guessed it and I worry I can’t integrate it because it sounds so much like woo woo bullshit.
- Recognizing this impulse ahead of time is a crucial first step, because it allows you to choose presence over quick solutions.
Leaders and managers who embrace listening without fixing gain the trust and loyalty of their teams. This not only improves morale but also enhances organizational performance and adaptability. Ask Open-Ended QuestionsEncourage reflection by asking questions that invite deeper sharing rather than leading someone toward a specific solution.
When someone feels heard—really heard—they soften. Intimacy grows where defensiveness ends. Even when well-intended, fixing can make the other person feel unheard, rushed, or subtly dismissed. The impulse to reassure (“It will be fine”) often comes from discomfort with the other person’s pain. Tolerating their distress without rushing to resolve it is the deeper act of care.
This respects the autonomy of the other person and maintains trust. Reflect Feelings and ContentRephrase what you have heard to confirm understanding and to validate emotions. Practice Active ListeningMaintain eye contact and offer encouraging nods or minimal verbal encouragement. This helps the other person feel acknowledged without pressure.
There are so many things that prevent us from really listening. And we can put people off sharing altogether if we are judgemental or they are scared they will just upset us. Listen without fixing, allowing people to talk about whatever they need to discuss. That said, if there’s something specific you’re worried might be pathological or “wrong,” we can explore that directly. Or, if you feel like it would help to have an outside perspective, seeking input from a therapist or psychiatrist might provide clarity.
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But this is a skill—and like any skill, it can be learned. Listening Without Fixing means you pause your instinct to solve. You ask questions like, “What do you need right now? ” or “Want me to just listen or are you looking for ideas? In such a case, listening without fixing becomes a radical act of care.
This relationship building where you can recognize parts of yourself, I am so curious about how many people on this planet know this is possible and have this relationship with themselves? It causes me waves of at times shame and at times panic when I think about whether not many or most people know and have this. Does that feel different from the idea of trusting something higher?